al wafi

NOT
I have been going no stop for about 3 4 months maybe. I�honestly donapos;t have a clue. Been working like crazy trying to make ends meet. Which has been working but i am getting tired. My boyfriend is having a ruff time with his family. Granted I am not allowed to talk bout it cause he is embarssed of what his family is like. SO you can imagine what every you like and it might be close to reality. Oh and we got a dog itapos;s a good dog but needs some training. We are calling him Crypto the simple answer is cause he answers to it. But he also has a condistion �
�cryptorchidism (Undescended testicle) so yeah funny right. Anyway Grandma went into the hospital again on the 7th then got out on the 14th i believe. She didnapos;t think she was going to make it back out but she did. She now has 11 rubber bands in her throat. The viens keep poping so they have to keep sealing them but have the time when she goes into the hospital they canapos;t fine where she is bleeding from then they do tests fine where she is bleeding seal it up give her more blood she if she is holding it in then send her home to do this all over again. Great fun. I know how to get to the ICU�blindfolded. I hope the gas contiunes to go down cause i am tight on money and so is everyone else i know .
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Hey again....

Today was kind of rough. I woke up at 11 and hadnt meant to sleep in since i had so much homework to do. I ended up going out to lunch at 1130 with my friend N. And we had indian food at a restaurant near by, it was definitely better than eating at the cafeteria. I ended up purging though becuase i felt so full and i was irritated becuase i made a legit attempt to not overeat so i wouldnt purge. I ate exactly what she ate and she is thin and normal and it was just too much...then my roommate invited a bunch of people to sleep over so i decided to just go home for the night to get some work done. Midterms are next week and i need a quiet place to study and focus. My mom picked me up and i went home to work, though being left home alone= b/p and it was bizarre to be back home doing it again, and then we all went out to dinner and i purged again, i guess because iapos;d already done it throughout the day i lose motivation NOT to if i feel like the day is already ruined

okay so weird story. I saw some girl at school who looked emaciated. So emaciated...the kind of thin you only see on websites or in hospitals....and i assumed she probably had an eating disorder. She was sitting by herself in the corner of the cafteria with a salad and her OWN dressing (the zero calorie kind) so i assumed like okay this girl is anorexic, so i added her on facebook and said hello and such and we started talking and eased into the conversation of eds and she totally doesnt believe/think that she has an ed. She just says she has a gluten allergy so theres alot she cant eat and that sheapos;s naturally thin. But its one thing to be naturally thin and another to be emaciated to the point of looking like you are going to die. She has the little fuzzies and bald spots and everything. And shes totally like "yeah i feel bad for people with eating disorders- it must suck..." and i was open with my experiences to her becuase i expected her to do likewise and she was totally and completely not receptive- it was the fucking weirdest thing ever. I cant even explain it

conversations with my mom
mom: so have you had many drs appts lately
zoe: yes, i saw the nutritionist and the therapist last week and i am seeing the shrink tomorrow
mom: oh why so many?
zoe: to keep me on track
mom: oh well dont you think thats alot....
zoe: probably, but they just want to make sure im being healthy and doing okay

.
.
.---zoe purges dinner

hmmm
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I went out on a limb and I even did things Iapos;d never thought I could do. I stood up for myself with my parents and made a good compromise I kept studying and I think I did well on my midterms. I havenapos;t talked to another guy in a bad way, and I didnapos;t want to at all. Iapos;ve proven to myself that I can change when�I feel strongly about someone and thatapos;s good enough for me. I think you changed a lot as well, but I think you changed things that I used to like in you as well as things I didnapos;t. Iapos;m glad you have a life and I hate that youc anapos;t make me a significant part of it, but as long as yourapos;e happy, I am as well. That is true now and forever.
<3Danielle

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Hey there, sailors

Sorry Iapos;ve been MIA. My computer decided to die (i.e., wont turn on even when plugged in), so Iapos;ve only made a couple random trips to the crew internet room. Which is a scary place. Small room with a few computer cubicles that remind me of voting booths. And the machines are these ancient, ancient things that weigh probably about 14 tons. But no matter.

Sooo, what to update my little diddly-dums about?

Jonathan and I had a slight scare a couple weeks ago. Condom busted. I tell you, waiting for that period to come was one of the most agonizing things Iapos;ve ever had to do. But when it did come (two days late, the bastard), it came full force, and so Jonathan and I both breathed a sigh of relief. A huge sigh or relief.

Weapos;re still doing well, though. Never got out of the friends-with-benefits stage, but thatapos;s okay. He leaves on November 4 anyway, so itapos;s better to keep it non-exclusive. Everyone knows weapos;re sleeping with each other. One of his really good girl friends is acting a little funny around me. I think she likes him, but I canapos;t be certain. She was really nice to me for a few days, chatting with me and being all smiley, and then she kind of stopped. Now she kind of ignores me. So Iapos;m not sure if I did something or if sheapos;s just doing what a lot of girls tend to do when they like a boy and know that boy is sleeping with someone else.

Iapos;ve also seemed to have caught the attention of Jonathanapos;s new roommate, Danny. Heapos;s a great guy, and if I wasnapos;t with Jonathan Iapos;d probably be all over the boy, but thatapos;s that. Heapos;s content in the knowledge that Iapos;m with Jonathan, and weapos;re starting to forge a pretty good friendship, which is awesome.

I feel like a photography groupie, I swear. Lol.

Alrighty, well Iapos;ve got to go get a shower, so Iapos;ll talk to all of you later Iapos;ll try to update you guys again soon. I promise I wonapos;t take two weeks to update again. :)

Love you, miss you, bye bye

Jenn

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Stop this train
I want to get off and go home again
I canapos;t take the speed itapos;s moving in
I know I canapos;t but honestly wonapos;t someone stop this train
�� � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � - john mayer�

this world is moving too fast for me.

i cant wait for the holidays to come, then i can sit on a bench under a tree and just read a nice novel and probably fall asleep with the book on my lap.�
but for now..


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So after last nights issue I have had quite a crappy day. I dunno why it is just one of those days where everything goes wrong.

I was almost late to class because I left my book at home and had to go get it putting me 10 minutes behind schedule. Then of course I�get stuck at every light and get behind the slowest people. Oh and my freakinapos; car got stuck out on the highway I�dunno what happened with it.�Luckily I made it to class right on time.

Then for some reason I kept getting in trouble in class which never happens. I forgot all about a midterm until 15 minutes before class so I had a cram session. I�guess it just wasnapos;t my day or something.

Oh and to top it off I had set aside some pizza last night for lunch today. Well guess what. Somebody took my damn pizza

So now tell me what else could go wrong. I�mean I guess I could possibly get hit by a bus or something but I doubt that will happen.

Its just one of those days. Oh well at least I have a 3 day weekend to look forward to. :)


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Alright, internet, i made some major decisions this week.

iapos;m staying in orlando for another two years. I graduate with my BA in spring of next year, so iapos;ll be applying for fall masterapos;s programs ASAP. I was really set on immediately pursuing the USAF after graduation, but a lot of discussion with my father and various other officers has made me realize that the higher education is going to be important in pursuing my officer career later.

conveniently, the AFROTC program at UCF is exactly two years. I take my AFOQT november 21, and so long as i start in january, iapos;ll finish the program right when i graduate with my MA. Two classes next semester to pick up a second minor through the ROTC and field training in summer of apos;09. So iapos;m officially in a uniform in january, assuming everything goes well i canapos;t even begin to tell you how thrilled i am about this.

hopefully field training wonapos;t interrupt bike and build. Iapos;m planning on having my application turned in this week, damnit. Or before tuesday, at least. Itapos;s a program where you bicycle across the country, from florida to california, stopping to build housing for low-income families. I also delivered my application to start working towards a congressional award last night. I also had my interview with new hope for kids, where iapos;ll be volunteering as a grief facilitator. The program focuses on helping grieving children who have dealt with a death in their immediate family, usually their parents and siblings. I really loved the vibes from the house and the people, and i think the program offers a service that too many people donapos;t even consider, much less view as a necessity. My habitat for humanity builds are all in november, and iapos;m doing random little bits of volunteering here and there every other week or so. Being involved in the community has really helped me to not hate orlando so much

thereapos;s also a bunch of fun stuff coming up here in orlando: nine inch nails concert, rise against concert, ben prestage concert, a fight card with anderson silva, and my first football game. Wooooo, not stagnating is AWESOME my brain and my heart are both in good places for the first time in more than a year, guys.

this entry has had a lot of acronyms. I think iapos;m done here.

SEE ALSO: COMBAT BOOTS EXTREME EXCITEMENT.

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